Wall Street Reacts to MS Patent

Stock prices need to be adjusted to avoid extra fees

Charging Bull, statue by Arturo Di Modica

NEW YORK, NY: After Microsoft announced its patent of the numbers one and zero Monday, Wall Street initially reacted by boosting the stock to a new high based on the estimated profits and monopoly power this offers the software giant. As reality set in, trading officials realized the electronic stock ticker had been displaying many ones and zeros and they already owed Microsoft thousands of dollars. This prompted a quick adjustment in all stock prices to avoid the more costly ones and zeros. Seeing this easy loophole Microsoft’s stock plummeted in after hours trading.

Insiders fear how the public’s perception of this patent will affect Microsoft. Will people think of them as greedy buggers and start boycotting their products? We’re too busy playing our Xbox 360 to worry.

This report was inspired by, but not written by The Onion