Life is a soccer game

Old grandma's death

Shutting myself out from everyone.

I remember driving to the house where my grandma, great aunt, and great grandma lived. It was pretty early and I did not fully understand what was going on. My family exited the car and my mom had told me the news, that my old grandma had passed away. I got inside and my whole family sat in the living room, everyone was crying and trying to remember the memories we had with her. I just sat there, stunned, at what had happened. From that moment on I did not tell anyone anything, I kept all my feelings to myself. My great grandma was usually the one I told my feelings and thoughts to.

This habit continued on to how I play in my soccer games. If I mess up on a play or loss the ball, I shut myself. It takes a while for me to get out of my own head and play how I can. I am the type of player that takes a good 15 minutes to get out of my own head. I learned through my great grandma's death that the longer I care about one mistake, the faster they pile up.

I learned that the people that God has surrounded me with are here to help me. I think through this situation, I learned how to open up more. This loss hit me the hardest and keep me in the dark for a long time. What I'm going to carry into my future is that no matter what happens there will always be someone to comfort me and a shoulder to cry on.


Experiencing something new.

I did not want to change schools, so going into junior year, I was rather bitter. I knew what best for me although, I tried to resist as much as I could because I hate being out of my comfort zone. I also am very shy around people who I do not know. Plus I had already been to one private school and it was hard enough making friends there. So I did not want to be in the same situation, where I did not know anyone. But through perseverance and welcoming peers I made friends and continued to feel welcomed.

Throughout my soccer career I changed teams as my skill level progressed. My first real team was my towns travel team. After being on the team for about a year and a half I decided with my parents that I wanted to change, to keep my skill level up. The new I was going to I did not know anyone. When I tried out for the team, I refrained from talking to anyone and just played to the best of my ability. Then, I made the team, but still did not talk to anyone. But slowly I readjusted and got just as close to my new team mates as I was to my old ones.

In the next steps of my life I want to carry with me that change is going to happen. Change is inevitable, how I deal with change, however, can make or break my future. If I deal with change and readjust then I will figure out where I belong. I think as my surrounding change I can come to know if I am where God wants me or where He does not want me.

Caleb Collin's Chapel

Feeling God's presence.

During chapel, when Caleb Collins, came to worship with us at school and I was not very enthusiastic to have to listen to him sing all chapel long. Then I bent over to take a deep breath and the moment took over me. My eyes were closed and I felt as if I was in a dark room. I have never felt at that much peace. In that moment nothing mattered because I felt God's presence within me and I knew that I would be fine.

Before everyone of my games I have a ritual; I stand on the edge of the center circle, take a knee, say a prayer, make the sign of the cross a few times on both of my thighs, then make the sign of the cross twice, both times kissing my palms at the end and pointing up to the sky. In the moment of prayer is when I feel the most at peace, while on the field. In that moment I know God is with me and watching over my game to make sure I am alright.

Within the past two year of high school I learned the most valuable lesson of my life; God is with me wherever I go. I can now go into the next chapters of my life knowing, full-heartedly, that He is watching over me in whatever I do. I am now open to praying at all times, not just when I face a bump in the road or want answers.

 •  Tori Kasper  •